Sunday links: 2013 leftovers and legacies

Stack of books at The Book Thing in Baltimore

Better late than never? I wouldn’t call this an Exhaustive Best-of-2013 Reads/Videos list by any means, but here are some things I meant to share for one reason or another.

Kirsten Jacobs on why you should never call someone a cute old person (eight minute video).

The Secret Life of Grief. See also The Trauma of Being Alive: “Mourning has no timetable. Grief is not the same for everyone.”

This year I also subscribed to Modern Loss, a site launched in 2013 to tackle issues related to grief and grieving. From one of their columns: “Gmail no longer recommends that I share emails with my mother. Even if I still desperately want to.”

Oh, and this is one of the most vivid, painful things I’ve read in awhile.

White feminists, step your game up. And watch this video of a Q&A with Alice Walker. AND, whatever your identities, do not miss this Black Female Voices dialogue between Melissa Harris-Perry and bell hooks. Thank you, New School, for making this available to everyone. It’s over 90 minutes long, but I plan to watch it again and I hope you will watch it with an open humble mind and heart. Also: this piece snuck in toward the very end of the year and will have you rethinking the phrase “white allies” – as will this one from Mia McKenzie back in September.

Taking Names, a This American Life episode. I don’t listen to the show habitually, but was glad I listened to this (infuriating) one.

Anything Rinku Sen writes or says, ever.

Diversity at tech conferences.

If comedy has no lady problems, why am I getting so many rape threats? Good question, Lindy West. (She and Jim West “debated” this whole hullabaloo on Totally Biased. Rest in power, Totally Biased. I’m sad you got cancelled and look forward to seeing what W. Kamau Bell and Janine Brito and all of your people tackle next.)

If you’ve read my blog for awhile you know that I heart the advice columnist Carolyn Hax. This year was no exception.

In 1961, Harvard Told Married Women They Probably Shouldn’t Bother With Urban Planning.

Tavi Gevinson is too cool.

This spring I volunteered at MoxieCon and got to see Ann Friedman give a super-energizing and hilarious talk based on her disapproval matrix. They haven’t released a video but I’ll share it here if it appears. In the meantime, you should absolutely watch this Ann Friedman-Aminatou Sow keynote from the Online News Association conference. Among other things, it inspired me to add “Give a conference keynote with one of my BFFs” to my life list.

The problem with perfectionismThe 10 Greatest Breakthroughs in Human Happiness. Could you say no to meetings for an entire month?

What George Zimmerman’s story can teach us about domestic abuse. Rachel Jeantel was not on trialFinding justice for Trayvon: Seven steps for our outrage. And For Trayvon, Marissa, and JordanI am not Trayvon Martin and We are not Trayvon Martin. But are we mad yet?

And can we spend this year calling each other in?

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