Wedding rings by Rebecca Zemans.
Like many of you, I woke up yesterday morning to find my Facebook news feed a sea of red equal signs. By 9 a.m., 26 friends had changed their profile picture to the tweaked Human Rights Campaign logo to show their support for marriage equality as the Supreme Court began hearing oral arguments; I can’t justify the time it would take now to calculate how many times that number has multiplied.
I also woke up to a notification in my inbox: “You’ve been tagged in five photos.” I knew without clicking that the images would feature me in one of two outfits: a spangly red-and-gold Gujurati lengha, or a short white dress with an illusion neckline and scalloped hem. Yes, I just got married.
[Privilege check #1: I was able to do this in the first place, legally and financially.]
And now the incredibly loving people who witnessed it aren’t hesitating to share photos online.
[Privilege check #2: Having photos of us and our wedding tagged online poses no threat to our jobs or safety.]
All this love-for-love on Facebook is jumbled up in my head, along with:
- the inevitable and innumerable parodies of and twists on the red equal sign (see Anna’s roundup)
- a few friends’ “assimilation does not equal liberation!” posts, this Beyond Gay Marriage post published on UrbanHabitat in 2010, and these resources, filed under “Marriage is the Wrong Goal“
- various things I’ve read about the HRC, including this recent “Friend or Foe?” post on The L Stop and this older one from TransGriot called “Why the Transgender Community Hates the HRC”
- and, in a way, with the loss of a dear friend this past weekend, a true civil rights leader who would have had far more eloquent things to say about SCOTUS and marriage than I do.
What follows is an attempt to untangle some of my thoughts. It might belong in my journal instead of online. But if you make it through, I would love to hear what you think and to know what else you’ve been reading that might help me make sense of things and be a good advocate and activist and ally – who happens to be married now.